Be easy with your child.
Be easy with yourself.
Accept each person (child or adult) exactly as they are. In other words, you and your child may have difficulty focussing on the “work”. This is understandable given the current situation.
Allow yourself and your child the space to process in your own unique way.
You are both enough exactly as you are.
You might feel responsible for ensuring they learn required material.
However, by taking on the role of teacher, you might inadvertently set up a dynamic of resistance with your child. You will not be able to replace your child’s teacher.
Shift your focus to that of a guide, collaborator, co-creator, confidante, or friend.
Feel good no matter what.
Learning is fun.
If it's not, take a step back and assess how you can lighten up the situation to make it more conducive to a mutually enjoyable experience.
In the meantime, encourage your child to play, however they want to.
Allow your child to follow their interests.
Clarity will ensue. (This includes a way into required material, if that's what causes your child to feel good.)
You might feel as though you should be in the leadership role.
However, it is best to let your child lead you.
Surrender any responsibility you feel for their learning. All you can do is be responsible for your relationship to them as they learn.
Clarify the relationship you want to have . Put your attention there.
Chances are your child's interests will change during this time.
Let them follow whatever comes up.
Trust that their curiousity will motivate them in theperfect way.
Remember what it feels like to be a child.
Don’t worry if you child is not making “progress” with their learning.
These concerns are often based on deep-seated subconscious programming that has every thing to do with you and nothing to do with your child.
Reflect on your own experience of school and learning.
What did you love?
What caused you to feel vulnerable and insecure?
When did you feel empowered to learn?
Your personal experiences are invaluable.
Nothing is as comforting to a child than to hear that a parent went through something similar and came out the better for it.
Children love to know they are not alone in their feelings. They also love to hear about your passions and what you love.
What ignited a love of learning in you? How is it different or similar to what your child loves?
Be still. Be quiet. Get out of the way.
Your body language and how you feel is just as important as what you say.
Your child knows (and learns) intuitively. Your child imitates what you do.
It may be that your child requires a silent supporter.
Or, your child might require some company - sit with them and smile; nod your head, and offer words of encouragement. Express interest and curiosity when appropriate.
Or, your child might be unsually talkative and might require your constant reassurance. This could simply be the comforting sound of your voice in conversation.
Be there for your child. Learning is intellectual and emotional.
If you are not paying attention, you child will think they don’t have to pay attention either.
For this reason, it is nice to have some one-on-one time and some solitary time. You both need time together and time apart.
Accept however they decide to use their time.
This includes daydreaming, doodling, staring out the window, looking at devices (if they are used to doing this already), playing video games, texting with friends, talking about other things - not schoolwork, hugging and physical interaction, eating and drinking, etc.
Be as unconditional as possible. Allow a new routine to unfold naturally.
30 Second Hugs
Hold your child for 30 seconds or more. You can count together.
Heart rates synchronize, non-verbal communication increases, fears and worries naturally dissolve - hugs promotes happiness, strengthen the immune system, and you will feel connectedas one.
Give and get.
If you give first, your will get more in the long run.
First thing in the morning, when school would normally be about to start, your child might have a hard time getting down to it. Even though you might be anxious to get on with your day, give in to what you child wants to do.
Play a game of cards or checkers, play fight or tickle, have a mini dance party - anything you and your child love to do together. In short, let them get their beans out.
Spend time outside - play catch, kick a ball, have a game of tag or hide and seek, explore the beauty and wonderof nature together.
A little time with you in the morning will go a long way as the day unfolds.
Share in light-hearted, and fun times together by doing other things not related to schoolwork and learning.
Let your child determine these activities, no matter how odd they may seem.
This will develop a foundation of trust that will serve you both well in your new school/work routine.
To repeat - make time for you and child to have fun together.
Limit distractions or conversations that might ruin the fun.
If your child has quality time with you, it will be easier to settle down to schoolwork.
Become the student.
Decide to loosely monitor progress.
In doing so, you allow the child to take charge of their own work. Stay in touch regularly by asking the child to teach you what they are learning. This will promote sharing over evaluation.
Avoid the temptation to test or measure what they are learning.
Let their own perspective and understanding be enough.
Ask questions to encourage curiosity and further interest. If they don’t know the answer, let that be OK.
Let them take the initiate in pursing the answer on their own time in accordance with their desire to know.
Show appreciation for the wonders of their learning world.
Adopt a positive point of view about the material they are encountering.
If a touchy subject comes up for you, remember back to when you were a child. Share an example of how you came to an understanding of a difficult issue.
Make a mess.
Make a mistake.
Allow for happy accidents.
If something dosen't work out according to plan, see the humour in it.
Give your child the space to explore and create without a bunch of boring rules.
All your child really wants is you.