Is it drivel, hard work, or an exhilarating adventure?
I am happy because I am happy.
528 Hz LOVE SUNSHINE EXPANSION.mp3
I see a progression of black rectangles moving in front of my awareness. They rise up with an instinctive force, as though they are flushed out of my system by a fast-moving stream.
I feel a sense of purification originating deep within. The densities move through me, collecting data points, memories, and beliefs into the energetic river that leaves out the top of my head and disappears into the void (which is love).
The rectangles resemble ancient books, mind screens, or blocks of thought. I focus my attention on the movement of them as they flow through my perception in a regular, purposeful rhythm.
I sense this as information - old information - akashic records, ancestral histories, past lives - a releasing and re-ordering of my substance of being; a massive full-scale process of letting go of individual identity.
What I find especially fascinating about the nature of this particular release is that it is happening unconsciously, without effort, and without deliberate intention. Invisible forces are merely carrying out the request.
However, my guidance suggests this is happening on an even wider scale, collectively, if the intention has been set or not.
The nature of our existence is in a state of change whether or not it is being perceived as such.
The creation of a new earth is firmly underway.
I have moments lately when I feel as though I don’t know what love is at all. What if I never know the fullness of love? I feel the crisis is a fear of somehow missing out on realizing the totality and power of love.
It's not a feeling of being unworthy or underserving of love, but a feeling of being out of habit with connecting to a truely loving feeling.
It is as though the pathways to love simply aren’t there. Perhaps they existed at one time, perhaps they have never existed. They feel like gaps of non-feeling.
Or, the feeling is there but I cannot face it or turn my attention to receiving it.
But, I believe in it. I believe in feeling. I believe in experience. I know I am receiving.
My higher self is laughing right now. Can’t feel a feeling of love? No chance. It’s not possible.
It’s all that I am.
There is a force pulling me into a new reality; a place that realizes manifested potential. It is a fast-moving propulsion of energy, like waves upon waves that wash over my awareness or I am the wave that carries my awareness along.
To resist this current of forward movement simply takes too much energy. I travel from here into the unknown with ease. The flow is where I want to be. I am the flow.
I can’t look back. I no longer exist where I am unable to place myself in time. I am a presence of space within future imagination.
Away with who I think I am. I am already ahead of thought.
A pulse of energy and feeling. A playful light.
This persistent feeling of movement. It is as though life is slipping away from me - culture, connection, opportunity, identity - everything I care deeply about.
The loneliness doesn’t feel so good; I am determined to feel good no matter what.
Then I realize it isn’t those things that are slipping away from me but me slipping away from those things. I am the one who is falling through my reality and bending my understanding of space and time.
I am the one who is moving through structures of perceptions and detaching from life experience. I am the one who is creating the feeling of movement. It is not meant to be stopped.
I am not meant to be stopped.
There are spaces opening up all around me that offer glimpses of infinity.
I let it be a sign of progress.
I let myself go.
For some time I have been aware of my internal sound. It is indeed the music of my soul.
This cacophony of bells and whistles and horns and drums used to annoy me. I thought it was distracting noise. I could barely listen to myself.
Then, I realized the sound intensified in moments of keen awareness and heightened sensitivity. My guidance said it was communication from beyond. I began to pay attention.
I tried very hard to focus on listening to this symphony of disparate instruments during meditation. I wanted to lose myself in it, but I couldn’t hold my focus for very long. The sound was too hyper and scattered. The tempo was too fast. I was unable to relax into it. I couldn’t find the joy.
In reflection, I think the sound was simply too divine. Simple and pure and innocent - too much like a Source/God I wasn’t sure I believed in.
My focus is drawn to this internal sound effortlessly. It dosen't matter what I call it. It is the song I am always singing; it never dies and it will never leave me.
This feeling/flow of relief and release always carries me along to a better feeling.
My guidance says that this an expression of the forward movement energy. It is the music of eternity.
Everything I am becoming. The creation of my new world.
My higher self catapults me into the dream of myself.
It’s like a cloud drifting, unfolding and billowing forth or the feeling of water breathing itself into ocean or the way squirrels in the yard propel from tree to tree - the energy is effortless, fast-moving - a creation of beingness unto itself.
A creation of being that is my own private world of exhilaration. An intoxicating attentiveness that soothes my awareness in a euphoria of unconditional love.
Which is both a subtle and monumental gasp between feeling and thought. As I bring both perspectives nearer to and inside this euphoric state, the former slips through easily to blend with purity, the latter is prevented due to (almost imperceptible) historical constructs of limitation.
Pure feeling of non-thought billows like a cloud and undulates like the sea. The pace of awareness quickens like a jumping squirrel and causes my body to change.
My feet relax and lose the pull of gravity, my hands release a flood of feeling from my palms. (I see this as emanating light - a flow going with an already existing flow.) My entire system is hypersensitive. Sensory perception is increased and refined. I have antenna or maybe my body hair is more conductive.
My brain rests for a while. My thoughts and mind rest too.
There is no need for thought to direct this energy. It’s mind of its own.
The structures of thought (the history of my constructed knowledge and understanding) dissolves. There is only newness. Every idea and word and image and action is reborn. There is a new stream of insight running through everything I know.
I am detached, going around, leaping through my current mind to reach beyond into this glorious space of (unknown) creation potential.
I take everything with me.
My power is crystal clear; light, with all the colours.
I feel, sense, and rush into this mastery beyond thought, without thinking or knowing it’s already here. This now moment of eternity has always been mine.
All of a sudden, these incremental steps of ascension are monuments in plain sight. My vision has changed.
My eyes are abstract sensations of pure joy. Streams of light from my camera to my cat become visible when I am taking pictures of her, when I am loving her intensely; I allow the flow of her perfection to create my hyper awareness.
I can now see two distinct realities in one - blurry and sparkling and bright, alongside the usual.
The usual is in a state of becoming way beyond normal. Somehow this feels to be an act of trusting more, perhaps a confirmation of sorts that what I sense is truly recognizable.
My creations have taken hold of me. Now. I am remembering. Perception is right now.
I ask for more.
More is coming.
Perceptions of my past dissolve. I am unrecognizable to myself. Again.
My past is coming to me like it is a dream. Events are heightened, blurred, and morphing into my evolved thought and perspective. Everything I thought I knew has changed. Again.
I think back to a past I thought I knew and what I find is a dream-like representation that not only doesn’t feel real like it once did, it doesn’t feel in any way relevant. Again.
A realization (clear knowing) that I create my past right now, that in each and every now moment my past manifests differently depending on how I feel about myself. Again.
This is a whole creation of me shifting into and out of form; changing shape and colour, having meaning and no meaning at all, losing all sense of solidity and purpose. Again.
This feeling of fluidity and transience and creative process flows freely throughout my awareness without fear of the unknown. I am constructing my liberation anew in each now moment. Again.
I begin again. Relaxed and released. Stronger. Lighter.
There is part of me who is undeniably happy in the midst of this chaos. There is part of me who knows none of it is real. There is part of me who is free of it already. There is part of me who rejoices as the past falls away.
There is part of me who feels scared. There is part of me who feels pressure. There is part of me who feels useless. There is part of me who feels despair.
As I contemplate these conflicting feelings in meditation, a peaceful river appears on my mind screen. I swim out to the middle of the water and feel myself carried along with the flow. I look backat my fear, my happiness, my chaos, and my calm - they stay put on the bank while I float by.
In a spontaneous state of blissful detachment, I wave to my feelings and emotions. They happily wave back. There is a sense of mutual release, but I have already arrived at a new future. I have already travelled away.